After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize