I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
