I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
