Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
