Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
too bad you live with your parents still
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
