Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
