i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
