absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
