I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
