my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm always down for nudity.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
