i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
