Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
