those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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