I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
