who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
