i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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