i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
how does that bad decision feel?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
