i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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