Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
