This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
