Is it because I queefed?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
