Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
