So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have surprise drugs for everyone
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
