Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
