I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
