My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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