bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
