DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
