I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
