yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am spending my child support on dildos
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
