is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
