I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
