I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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