Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
