Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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