Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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