i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
