Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
