my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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