I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
