I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
