can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
