Pappa wants mamma naked
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
