SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize