theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
