Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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