totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
