grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
