If i come over, it means nothing
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
