Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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