I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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