he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
