**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
