I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
