I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
