that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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