Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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