Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
